Treasures

We sat on the floor and peeked under the bed. We found a bag of doll clothes first and then a box of rag dolls. We spent some time dressing them up, trying new combinations of purple and pink and funky patterns. Then, curious, we looked under the bed again.

The large box was ugly on the outside and partially torn. Inside, we found beautiful porcelain dolls of various sizes. The Mexican señorita had large brown eyes and lustrous lashes. Then there was a redheaded cowgirl, a heavily made up beauty from Puerto Rico, a Brazilian cangaceira (a typical character from the Northeast), and a collection of Disney miniatures. We laughed as we uncovered a very old Russian doll I got when I was 6 years old. By now her porcelain skin was almost entirely white and her cheeks an unatural red. "I used to think this was the most beautiful doll in the world," I told her.

"Not very pretty now," I laughed. She giggled and agreed.

Last we opened a smaller box loaded with stuffed toys. I pressed the hand of the very purple Barney who knew her name and sang "You are special." We laughed some more.

I don't know how long we played. It was magical and unforgettable for both of us. Then I kissed her goodnight.

We work on our schedules and make sure we have achievable and measurable goals - racing after raises and promotions and making darn sure someone knows what we achieved. We spend hours on the computer. We fight. And as we fight for one more recognition and one more article and one more praise we forget our real treasures - the ones under the bed, the ones inside carboard boxes, the ones colored with joy and memories.

Suddenly, whatever I was going to write about tonight doesn't seem important at all.

The Man in the Glass

The Man in the Glass

The other day I was chatting with my mother about engagement and rewards. I was explaining that my engagement did not depend on the opinions of others – it depended, instead, on my own pride, commitment and DNA. Engagement is about me and about what I was born to do for a living.

Mom then reminded me of an old and favorite poem called “The Man in the Glass.” She found it for me on the Internet. The first part of the poem goes like this:

When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.

For it isn’t your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass.
The fellow whose verdict counts most in you life
Is the one staring back from the glass.

My mother is right. The Man in the Glass has everything to do with engagement. Those who are engaged do not excel in their work because of external rewards – bonuses, gift cards, or “employee of the month” certificates. They do not go above and beyond because someone out there will give them a medal. Instead, they do it because of their own sense of purpose.

Don’t get me wrong – recognition is likely to help. Recognition gives us a sense of being valued and valuable. Recognition calms fear and uncertainty. Recognition tells us there is someone who cares that we worked so hard or for so long. In order to improve engagement, however, recognition has to mean care. It has to involve true appreciation. Otherwise it’s not recognition – it’s just compensation.

Even the best kind of recognition, however, will not be as strong or as powerful as our own recognition. That person in the glass does more for our engagement than anyone else.

And perhaps… that is the message we need to send our colleagues. Stop expecting others to engage you. Stop waiting for others to cheer you up.

Instead, start focusing on that person in the glass.

TOP TEN MUST HAVES FOR WOMEN IN BUSINESS

1 A black jacket with matching pant and skirt.

Every woman needs at least one matching suit, preferably in a dark, neutral color (black, charcoal grey, light grey). Neutral colors should be the foundation for your wardrobe in business. This way, you can pair the jacket, pant and skirt with separates that are already in your closet for those business casual days.


2 A white shirt.

A white shirt with a collar represents the most Formal Business Attire.

3 A neutral underpinning.

A cream shell and/or with complimentary color. When I say complimentary color, remember that color used in Business should be reserved for shirts and underpinnings.

4 Closed-toe heels (Black).

With your neutral foundations, black heels will work with everything (grey suit, grey or black pants and your basic black suit). Peep toes may be in fashion, but not appropriate for corporate business. If your business is in the arts or fashion industry then they would be appropriate.

5 A grey and/or navy blazer with coordinating pants.

You want to have more than one jacket in your closet to mix and match with other pants and skirts in your closet.

6 A classic black dress that you can easily pair a jacket with.

It makes life easy, especially if you’re going to dinner and you choose to remove the jacket.

7 A structured handbag that projects organization.

There are many choices in handbags. Brightly colored and large handbags can be beautiful, but for Business Attire, a smaller basic black structured handbag will give you that professional and organized look.

8 Stud earrings.

Jewelry in business -- less is always more. Again, for the most Formal Business Attire, simple stud earrings with a strand of pearls goes a long way. You want people to remember you for your professionalism, confidence and authority, not your large hoop earrings and bangles hanging from your wrist. It becomes distracting. If you’re wearing a watch, shy away from digital and large fashion watches. Again, less is more.

9 Smaller leather belts (or none).

If you are wearing pants or a skirt that requires a belt, try to keep it to small leather belts, not the large trendy fashion belts or belts with metal and bangles hanging from them.

10 Make-up (natural in appearance and conservative).

It’s easy to think of your makeup as contouring and not so much as color. Eyes should be natural with neutral contouring, light contouring for the cheeks as well as on the lips. Think neutral. If you’re not sure what to do with your makeup, set up a makeover with a local color consultant or at one of the many makeup counters, making sure they know you want a natural business look.

These are the basics that every working woman needs in their closet. Keep in mind that business dress has become more casual, but you should always dress one step above the rest. The old saying “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have” is still new to remember. If you want to “Outclass The Competition” and be noticed for your ability and not your wardrobe, this Top Ten List is the way to go. Does Fashion have anything to do with Business Attire? Absolutely! Even the most conservative Business attire has fashion and you always want to look like you know what year it is. For those business casual days, you’ll add sweaters and jackets with colors that compliment you.

What bothers you the most about Women’s Business Attire today and what do you like the most? I look forward to your discussions.

Copyright© 2010 by The Protocol School of Washington® and ABI, advanced business image & etiquette