Top Ten Must Haves For Men In Business

1 One Suit: Navy or gray, solid or pin strip
Every Man needs at least one matching suit, preferably in a dark, neutral color (charcoal grey, light grey or navy). The same rule applies for Men and Women,dark neutral colors should be the foundation for your wardrobe in business.

2 One blazer or sport jacket (navy or gray).
You will need a sport jacket for those Business Casual days when a two or three piece suit is not appropriate.

3 A basic crisp white business dress shirt.
This represents the most Formal Business Attire, and can be worn as Business Casual without a tie as well. A blue shirt can also be added to the business wardrobe to change out, but the crisp white shirt speaks the most Formal.

4 Three ties that match or offset at least one color or shade in the suit you’re wearing and that compliments your coloring.
Just as women would, if you don’t know what colors look best on you, find a color consultant to work with you about the color of ties you should be wearing. The tie is the mirror to a man’s soul. People will notice your tie before they will the jacket or suit. Reds and blues are power colors, but there are many variations of reds and blues. Know which colors compliment you the most.

5 A pair of lace up, well polished shoes and a pair of dress loafers.
Lace up shoes should be worn with the most Formal Business Attire. Dress loafers will be worn with your Business Casual Attire and with your Casual. As a guideline, jeans are usually not acceptable; therefore, gym shoes are not a must-have for business. Although there are exceptions, but before wearing them, one should know what that dress code is.

6 Navy and black Khaki’s.
Navy and black khaki’s can easily be paired with the navy or gray blazer that you have selected. Again, for your Business Casual.

7 A basic watch.
A basic watch with a black leather band or dress metal band, non-digital. Remember in business attire, less is more when it comes to accessories, just as it is for women. The best watch band for Formal Business Attire is actually the plain black leather band.

8 A professional laptop bag or briefcase.
Over the shoulder messenger-style bags are a cool and sophisticated option. Make sure that your laptop bag or briefcase is quality leather.

9 A basic leather belt that matches your shoes.

10 Dress socks that coordinate with your suit.

The Under Cover Boss, The Captain, and The Leader

One of my favorite shows this season is "Under Cover Boss." In today's episode, the CEO of an Amusement Park Complex visited his parks across the country and tried a variety of jobs for size... he became a server, a cleaner, and a greeter. He was trained by employees with whom he would never otherwise have come in contact. He learned about their heartaches and determination. He was humbled by those from whom he learned.

The show often brings tears to my eyes. I guess for once I see a show in which CEOs get it. They get what moves their organizations forward. They get that without people in the trenches their organizations would collapse. The get that they are responsible for people... not just balance sheets and deals and stock values.

So often in the HR world we become cynical. We talk about Theory Y and how people really want to do well - and yet we spend our days polishing new regulations and policies and procedures that make absolutely sure no one will do something wrong on the company dime. We have endless meetings with our legal counsel. We make sure we know exactly what we should include in that applicant contract so that we are forever protected should we per chance want to do something we probably shouldn't be doing in the first place.

Worst of all, we assume our people are disposable. We use terms such as restructuring and reengineering and reoptimizing. We hide behind business words and protest that we have a responsibility towards our stock holders. We rationalize it. We make it work.

But in all this rationalization we forget for whom we are responsible. We forget that as leaders we are the captains of our ships.

Captains don't leave the ship with a golden parachute while their people drown. Captains don't throw half the people overboard so that the ship won't sink. Captains drown with their people or bring them safely to the harbor. Captains take responsibility for the power they were given and the privileges of such power.

What sort of captain are you?

Four Meetings

For the past half hour, Jane and Mary, respectively the customer service and the sales manager at organization ABC, have tried to solve a problem related to one of ABC's major customers.

“The customer feedback form is incomplete,” Mary says. “My sales reps cannot gather enough background information when visiting their customers. ABC had a major problem and this was not expressed in the form. I understand that you are doing the best you can, Jane.”

“Well, I understand your concern, Mary,” Jane answers calmly, “and you know that I value your opinion. Here is my perspective, though: My employees already have a hard time completing that form.”

An observer who happened to stop by in the meeting room would fail to see anything wrong. Jane and Mary’s discussion is polite and professional. Both individuals take great pains in following the rules of courtesy, using words such as “understand,” "value," and “perspective.”

In reality, however, Jane and Mary are unlikely to solve their problem. Eventually they will just adjourn, check the meeting off their list, and move on.

Heifetz, Grashow, and Linsky in “The Practice of Adaptive Leadership” suggest that a typical office discussion involves four separate meetings.

The first meeting occurs before the meeting as Jane and Mary exchange ideas with their supporters. It may surprise the outside observer to learn that customer service forms are not a very important topic of discussion in that first meeting. Instead, Jane may feel unrecognized and undervalued by Mary and by the company CEO. Mary, on the other hand, may feel that Jane does not support her sales efforts.

The second meeting takes place in Jane’s and Mary’s heads. For instance, here is a sample of Jane’s internal meeting: “Mary is always recognized as the ‘company savior’ and no one realizes the hard work my staff does.” Mary’s meeting, on the other hand, involves Mary’s quota difficulties, the current economic crisis, the pressures suffered by Mary’s department, and Jane's inability to understand her business needs.

The third meeting – a long, tedious, and inefficient conversation about customer service forms – involves two very polite and political (even if untruthful) versions of Jane and Mary.

The fourth meeting will take place after the meeting, when Jane and Mary return to their supporters and continue chatting about issues unrelated to the customer service forms.

We have all been there. We talk to our supporters because we need to vent. We fail to tell the truth to those whom we oppose because it is politically risky and personally scary to do so. We spend time discussing issues that do not really matter because bringing up what does matter is unthinkable. We fail to resolve problems because we cannot possibly bring them up.

Why does this happen? Why can’t people just be “honest”? Four possible answers occur to me.

• Some people simply detest conflict. The need to vent and “get things off one’s chest” is real – but such venting is far more comfortable behind closed doors, involving only a trusted confidant.

• Speaking up is politically dangerous. Others who spoke up in the past have suffered dire consequences. Thus, the perceived benefits of “speaking up” are trumped by very real risks.
• Relationship building is not encouraged. Some people are simply not comfortable enough with one another to speak their minds.
• There is no clear process that invites and supports real conversations.

Leaders must come up with such a process. Further, leaders must learn to recognize signs of mistrust and discomfort with real conversations. Some of these signs include:

• Excessive politeness and use of “canned” commentaries such as “I understand your position,” “I hear that you are upset,” and “I have a different perspective.”
• Impromptu meetings are quickly disbanded when outsiders arrive.
• Meetings include long conversations about seemingly unimportant (albeit innocuous) topics.

Don’t get me wrong. Politeness is important. I’m not advocating that basic rules of courtesy be ignored in the workplace. When people are real, however, they may speak more informally and filter their words less. Ask yourself – how do you tell a trusted friend that you disagree with him/her? Do you say “trusted friend, I fully recognize that you have a different perspective from mine and I value that”? Or do you just say “sorry dude, but that really won’t work…”?

Heifetz et al.’s “four meetings” are not only inefficient – they are dangerous. When team members fail to discuss what truly bothers them, they cannot possibly reach synergy. Further, conversations behind closed doors are likely to breed mistrust, fuel gossip, and create organizational factions.

I'm Leaving for Pasárgada - I'm the King's Friend

Manoel Bandeira, a renowned Brazilian poet (1986-1968) wrote a well-known poem called "I'm leaving for Pasárgada". In Pasárgada, Bandeira explains, "I'm the king's friend." In Pasárgada I will ride my bike and bathe in the sea, and lay by the river side. In Pasárgada life is an adventure.

As I get ready once again to leave the familiar and move to a new place (my family and I are moving to Des Moines, IA in the Summer) I think of Pasárgada. I think of a place where once again I do not know the king or the queen. I remember my arrival in the United States some seventeen years ago.

When I arrived in Ohio as a newly wed, I had no idea I had just arrived from Pasárgada. Do you need a job? Your sister knows someone at company X and I hear they're hiring over there. I call company X, find the connection, secure the interview. The interviewer smiles and asks me if I know so and so Mello e Souza (my full name is Cristina de Mello e Souza Wildermuth). I don't, but it doesn't matter - the connection has been established. "Must be your cousin," the interviewer suggests. Then he asks where I had gone to school. I tell him I studied at the Santo Inácio high school and PUC University. He knows both institutions, of course. He even has friends from Santo Inácio and thinks PUC is an excellent school.

I didn't necessarily feel priviledged in those days. My family was not rich. I had my share of crappy jobs and crappy bosses. I worked hard for what I had. What I didn't understand then is that one's network is invaluable. One's network opens doors. One's network is like a set of trump cards.

Then I moved to the U.S. - and the trump changed. The Mello e Souza name was not only unknown, it was hard to pronounce and sounded foreign. Colégio Santo Inácio? What in the world is that?

Losing my network made me realize that no one - and I mean no one - can win it all alone. We get support from family, friends, and loved ones. We get help from our school name, from our Alma Mater, from the Church group. We get help from our mom's friends and from dad's cousin George. We get help from our look, our accent, our place of birth. We connect.

Losing my network also made me stronger. I had to learn to rebuild. I found new connections and new pathways to relationships.

Now, as I move once again, I'm ready. Life will be an adventure in my new Pasárgada.

New eLearning Approach - SpacedEd - Has Great Potential for mLearning

This morning I published a short article on an exciting new eLearning technology - Spaced Education - on the blog for the Electronic Learning Forum (eLF) sponsored by the Greater Cincinnati chapter of ASTD.

Spaced Education, or SpacedEd for short, is based on both new and old studies that show the effectiveness of test-like learning that is delivered and reinforced in small chunks over time, hence the name - Spaced Education. The idea is that you learn exclusively by answering questions - sort of an online Socratic method. When you submit your answers you get immediate feedback on whether they were right or wrong and you get an explanation of the correct answers. There is no penalty for being wrong - in fact, it's key to learning things that you didn't know!. You are asked only a couple of questions at a time every couple of days and the entire course is spaced out over a couple of weeks.

If you're interested, you can read the entire article here and I invite you to join us for a free webinar on this and other mobile learning subjects this Friday morning, March 19, 7:30-8:30 am. For more information on the eLF webinar, please contact Gary Wise.